dear baby bump,

Why are you on an old man?

dear mascara,

You smell rather fishy. I'm guessing that means I should stop using you?

dear drivers in Canyon Country,

I have a few questions for you:

1. Did you know that you should not be on your cell phone while pumping gas?

2. Why do you drive below the speed limit in the fast lane on the 14?

3. Since you live in the boon docks don't you think it would make more since to drive a hybrid than a huge gas-guzzling truck?

4. Are you aware that it is illegal to use the carpool lane for passing?

dear dishwasher,

Let's be friends forever. Why did I wait so long to buy you? Because of you I now cook occasionally, and dirty dishes no longer pile up in my sink :)